Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Halfway There!

Wow.  Tony and me 50 pounds ago in May 2012 at Rogue's first communion.

If any of you have ever lost a bunch of weight, you might understand what I am about to say. Despite loosing 50 pounds I still feel fat.  Oh, believe me, I still have weight to loose, even though I am thinner than I have been in 16 years and now have the rib cage size I did in high school!  (Did you hear that?  HIGH SCHOOL)  I, also, no longer hit the BMI charts at OBESE.  Sigh, how awesome is that?

I know I am smaller.  I feel smaller (most days, lol)  But I still picture myself as huge.  I stop sometimes before I sit in a certain chair, wondering if I am too big and might break it, you know, those kinds of things.

It really hit me when I was doing a look back at our year in pictures how much I have shrunk.  Yet, it still doesn't sink in.  It is, not funny but sad really, to still walk into a room and want to hide because I might be the fattest one there. 

I hit a plateau pretty hard in January.  I think I might have lost a total of... gulp, one pound.  I know I lost some more inches and I am trying to focus on that but I want to see that scale go down too!  I do weight lifting, so I know I am gaining muscle, and muscle weights more than fat... yadda yadda yadda.

OH!  I have to share this with you.  The other day I was sitting on the couch and I had a slight itch on my arm.  Trust me, this gets better.  Anyway, I itched and thought, "Ack!  What is that bump on my arm!?!"  It was muscle.  I have never had strong arms and now I have muscles!  It is kind of cool.

Sometimes, it seems the hardest part of this journey is really believing in myself and that I can do this. And I am going to share with you today the KEY to weight-loss.  You ready?

Last December
 I, honestly believe without a doubt, that the equation to weight-loss is :

10% exercise, 20% diet, and 70% believing in yourself.

No matter my numbers, you will not be fully successful at loosing weight and keeping it off you do not have all these things.

If you have ever seen the Biggest Loser you will know that so much of the show deals with these people's personal issues.  Once they can break through whatever is making or keeping them fat, and I am not talking about the food they put into their bodies, but what deep down is keeping them from believing in themselves and think they are worthy of a good and healthy life, they loose weight!

I believe my plateau is honestly a road block in my thinking.  I was so excited to be the weight I am now.  It has been a long time since I didn't have to shop in the plus size section.  I can remember saying years ago, "If only I could be a size 16" and now I am past that!  It got to the point where I started thinking I could just let it go.  I don't need to really do more.

But the truth was, I was telling myself I wasn't worth it.

Embracing the fact that I am a child of God, that I am strong and worthy of so much more, that God made me amazing no matter what size I am... that is what I am working on now.  I have found that I actually enjoy working out.  To bring home this point, in middle school I almost failed gym.  I ALMOST FAILED GYM.  I am not very coordinated and PE was not my strong suit, but to fail a class that is supposed to be impossible to fail is pretty not impressive.  So to have someone tell me, like they did the other day, "You are an athlete now," was beyond amazing.

Letting myself enjoy working out and actually believing I am worth all the work has been the hardest part for me.  And now that I am fighting tooth and nail to get over the stumbling block of my very own self.

So here is to another 50 pounds.  It is a big goal and I have to admit that seems a bit over the top, but it would be totally awesome!  For now though, I will work on it 10 pounds at a time.

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